Thursday 4 December 2008

Chasing cheques

Back to the phonecalls again. The agency that proved so good at paying on time has, alas, slipped into the overdue bracket. But I'm still solvent as the current place I am insisted on paying me early for my first couple of weeks. Still have several more cheques due in before Christmas.

And today is my last day here. What was a 3/4 week stint has turned into 6, and if I wasn't flying off on a short break tomorrow I'd probably still be here as the project is dragging on interminably. It's in its death throes but the clients are still faffing and refuse to finish it off. Still, it's meant a couple of weeks of extra money for me, which means I can now enjoy some time off leading up to Christmas. And replace the bike that was stolen at the weekend (galling).

The agency also won the big pitch they had a couple of weeks ago, which is great news. It puts them on the map, it's all over the trade press, and means they can expand, move offices, hire more staff. And hopefully they'll hire me again too. Lovely people, even if the project and client have been... um... difficult.

I have been working at the client's site, at their insistence for the past few days which was painful to say the least. They wouldn't allow us to connect to their network meaning that I couldn't email any files across, and couldn't print anything out to proof it. They also trapped us in endless Kafka-esque meetings with multiple rounds of amends from around a dozen different people - every few hours. A truly dreadful way of working and extremely non-productive. Still, on the plus side, the suit and I bonded well.

Ah well, sit back and think of the cheques in the post... and pack suitcase. Sunshine here I come.

Thinker

Sweet little ad. And a good example of why creatives should seek inspiration everywhere. More galleries/exhibitions/lectures please.



Agency: Perich Advertising + Design, Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA

Tuesday 25 November 2008

Brilliant



Agency: TBWA\MAP, Paris, Franc.

Intellectual stimulation

Last night, I went along to the Lyceum Theatre in Covent Garden, with Him Next Door and also Her Next Door. We didn’t go to see the Lion King, which is what’s usually on there, but to hear a talk from Malcolm Gladwell. You may have heard of him - he’s written a few books, including ‘The Tipping Point’. And he’s a very clever chap.

His ‘niche’ as it were, seems to be extrapolating sections of data about various social behaviours, exploring them within the context of the culture they come from, and then explaining how and why this can cause certain events to happen.

For example, his talk last night was about plane crashes. And how most of the time they have nothing to do with the plane. Or any technical issues. They don’t even have anything to do with the capabilities of the pilot or co-pilot (or whether or not they are drunk or on drugs). Most plane crashes are caused by poor communication - either between the co-pilot and pilot, or between the co-pilot and air traffic control. He explained this in several ways (misinterpretation, mis-hearing commands etc), but the really interesting stuff was in ‘mitigation’ and Geert Hofstede's theory of ‘power distances’ (i.e. our relationships with people we perceive to be our superiors and how we phrase information according).

I won’t go into every detail as that’s his gig, and you can read all about that is his new book, but it was fascinating. As was his delivery. He’s highly skilled at public speaking, with a great sense of comic timing (and rhetoric, as one of my companions pointed out).

When he started speaking, people were whispering/unwrapping sweets/fidgeting around/getting comfy and generally driving me bonkers. (I have no truck with rowdy audiences.) However, by the time he finished the evening - reading a goosebump-inducing transcript from the black box recording of the last few minutes in the cockpit of a doomed jumbo jet - the entire theatre was rapt.

Left us with plenty of food for thought too. An excellent way to spend an evening, and it reminded me how much I always have, and still do, enjoy learning.

Interestingly, not everyone agrees with me.

Friday 21 November 2008

It's all me, me, me...

No really, it is. Here's 99 things to do, and whether or not I've done them.

1. Started your own blog - Yes. This actually number 4.
2. Slept under the stars - yes. Many times. Festivals, camping and the like.
3. Played in a band - yes! Was in 2 bands in my teens. Punk versus retro 60s.
4. Visited Hawaii - not yet, not sure I want to either.
5. Watched a meteor shower - no, but I have seen a falling star.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity - yes but by accident.
7. Been to Disneyland/world - this will never EVER happen.
8. Climbed a mountain - yes, I’ve climbed 2. Ben Nevis and Mount Sinai.
9. Held a praying mantis - no thanks. Icky.
10. Sang a solo - yes. Loads of times. Singstar. Drunk as a skunk. Love it.
11. Bungee jumped - nooooo way.
12. Visited Paris - yes, 4 times but only ever for work. Need to rectify this.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea - yes, Ibiza. Quite dramatic.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - does cooking count?
15. Adopted a child - yes with World Vision.
16. Had food poisoning - hell yes.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - no, but I have done the Empire State Building. Although I took the lift. Sorry, elevator.
18. Grown your own vegetables - yes, well... tomatoes and herbs. That reminds me, haven’t looked in the cold frame for months, I wonder what’s happening in there...
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France - nope, see answer to 12.
20. Slept on an overnight train - not yet but planning a trip up to Scotland with my brother which will involve this.
21. Had a pillow fight - of course!
22. Hitch hiked - yes, going to see Bon Jovi in Milton Keynes with my friend Sam. We got picked up by a busload of long-haired heavy metal fans. Teenage rock chick's heaven. (Sorry Mum). (I fear there may be more apologies throughout).
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - yeeeees, but not now I work for myself.
24. Built a snow fort - nope
25. Held a lamb - Yes. Well, half a dead one. Shortly before stuffing it with rosemary and garlic and sticking it in the oven.
26. Gone skinny dipping - does taking your bikini off once you’re in the water count (it was daylight)? If so, yes. (Ahem, sorry Mum)
27. Run a Marathon - you’ve gotta be kidding.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - no, but it’s on the list.
29. Seen a total eclipse - yes! All the birds went quiet. Eerie.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset - many times in many places. Favourite sunrise was at the summit of Mount Sinai (climbed it by starlight - awesome).
31. Hit a home run - no, have typical girl hand/eye coordination issues.
32. Been on a cruise - does going to see whales/dolphins count?
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person - not yet but when I do I’m going to stay in the tackiest motel I can find. With a waterbed.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - Yes on Mum’s side, not on Dad’s
35. Seen an Amish community - no
36. Taught yourself a new language - yes, HTML
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - probably not.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - no, think it’s overated.
39. Gone rock climbing - Once. Got about 6 feet up, scared the crap out of myself. However, am intending to try indoor climbing wall soon.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David - no
41. Sung karaoke - once. Along with my friends Lou and Lisa. We humilated ourselves in front of a packed house which included some of the actors from ‘Teachers’ to the tune of Dolly Parton's 'Jolene'. I still have nightmares about it.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt - can this be applied to an ex-boyfriend losing his temper? If so, then yes on a daily basis for about 4 years. Also not entirely sure about the faithful business.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - no, sounds like a blind date
44. Visited Africa - Yes! South Africa. It is a curate’s egg of a place.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight - yes, lots of times
46. Been transported in an ambulance - yes, keeled over at Gatwick airport and came to in the back of ambulance with a paramedic attaching ECG things to me, wondering what the hell was going on. Mind you, at that point I couldn’t even remember my birthday. Totally bizarre. And quite scary.
47. Had your portrait painted - no
48. Gone deep sea fishing - no but I’d be up for trying it
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - no but come the Crumball Rally next year...
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - no. I refer you to answer 12. Again.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - Yes, snorkling in the Red Sea, Egypt. It felt like I was flying. Spent about 6 hours a day in the water. Absolutely loved it.
52. Kissed in the rain - I can’t remember the last time I kissed anything, let alone what the weather was doing. But probably.
53. Played in the mud - still do! Also known as metal detectoring on the river shoreline.
54. Gone to a drive-in theatre - no, but think it would be fun.
55. Been in a movie - not Hollywood or Bollywood.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China - no
57. Started a business - yes! Just this year in fact. Oh hang on, and one last year too. Along with Him Next Door and Dave. Double yes.
58. Taken a martial arts class - No, never appealed.
59. Visited Russia - yes, it’s a weird weird place. Also quite brilliant if you stay with people who can speak fluent Russian. Can imagine it would be a totally different experience if you don’t though.
60. Served at a soup kitchen - nope, too selfish.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - don’t think the Brownies count, and no in any case
62. Gone whale watching - Yes, Tenerife. Saw lots too.
63. Got flowers for no reason -Yes, from myself. Have received flowers from ex-boyfriends but always for a ‘reason’ (ie pathetic creeping for things done wrong)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma - yes, need to do so again soon actually. B rhesus positive in case you were wondering.
65. Gone sky diving - No. But I have just received the leaflet I ordered about doing an Accelerated Free Fall course (just don’t tell my Mum). Oh hang on. Whoops. Sorry (again).
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - no
67. Bounced a check - yes have bounced a CHEQUE but never a Czech.
68. Flown in a helicopter - yes! Around Manhattan. It was brilliant.
69. Saved a favourite childhood toy - yes I still have a wooden clown that my sister bought me for a very early birthday. His arms and legs move when you pull a string. He lives on the handle of my bathroom cabinet.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial - don’t even know where it is.
71. Eaten caviar - Yes. Revolting. Barfed it up again shortly afterwards.
72. Pieced a quilt - think we my have made little ones for Sindy dolls as kids, but my memory might be making that up.
73. Stood in Times Square - yes, was completely underwhelmed
74. Toured the Everglades - no
75. Been fired from a job - Yes once, as a barmaid. For laughing at the landlady. You would have too.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London - Yes. Used to work 2 mins around the corner from the palace. Most memorable was the day after 9/11 when they played the US national anthem. Very moving.
77. Broken a bone - only my nose. It involved Primrose Hill, my friend Lou and a bottle of vodka. Oh, and sunrise (see question 30).
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle - no, only a non-speeding scooter when I was 17 (skiving off college to go swimming in the River Wye). (Sorry Mum).
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person - nope
80. Published a book - not yet.
81. Visited the Vatican - no.
82. Bought a brand new car - no. Have only ever owned one car, which was given to me by my friend Lou (weird how these answers are interconnecting).
83. Walked in Jerusalem - no.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper - yes in many guises. Dancing school days/winning awards at college/modelling. This makes my life sound a hell of a lot more glamorous than it actually is. In fact, it sounds like someone else’s life.
85. Read the entire Bible - no.
86. Visited the White House - no but have been to Graceland. These are unconnected as far as I can tell.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - no but I would do if the need arose. Am not particularly squeemish about such things. (Again, sorry Mum). (She's a vegetarian).
88. Had chickenpox - yes, age 4.
89. Saved someone’s life - two people have told me I have saved their lives in all seriousness. How true this is, I don’t know.
90. Sat on a jury - no but would like to, although I doubt it is an interesting as I’m expecting.
91. Met someone famous - Several. Some nice. Some horrid.
92. Joined a book club - no.
93. Lost a loved one - too many.
94. Had a baby - definitely not, I’d remember that.
95. Seen the Alamo in person - no.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - noooooo.
97. Been involved in a law suit - no.
98. Owned a cell phone - is there anyone left who doesn’t?
99. Been stung by a bee - yes! Was about 5. Cried a lot.

Thursday 20 November 2008

Swearing. Brilliant!

I've long believed there should be more swearing. In DM. In press. In TV ads. Not because I want to shock, but because it's how people speak to each other.

So fucking congratulations to the Morgan Hotel Chain for creating the vid below and for this bit of DM. And a big fuck off to the New York Times for refusing to run the press ad.



Campaign website here. I don't know which agency did it, but god love the client for having the balls to run it.

Nice work

Spoof of the current Barclaycard ad running on TV in the UK. Spoof done inhouse by Specsavers Creative. Great example of when spoofing another ad works. (Albeit with a short shelf life.)



The Barclaycard ad proper below (for anyone not in the UK)

Wednesday 19 November 2008

When advertising goes bad

Couple of links to online discussions elsewhere.

First up, when visuals go wrong. Which is worse? I think both are awful but one is decidedly more 'wrong'. My favourite comment: "This is the wrongest thing in Wrongtown. I had to cover my puppy's eyes."

Secondly, an ad which seems to have outraged half the 'moms' in America.

Original ad below.



Some of the fall out here. And here.

Spoof ad below.

Tuesday 18 November 2008

D'oh

Skipped off to the bank at lunchtime clutching my new cheque. But was stopped short by the sight of lots of burly builders in hard hats in the local LLoyds TSB branch. D'oh. Closed for a refurb. Because, obviously, with an national (and international) recession in full swing, the first thing you're going to do is spend lots of money doing up your branches. This also means I don't have time in my lunch hour to get to the other nearest branches in Chiswick or Twickenham. So while the cheque is in my pocket book, it's not going into the bank until... well, until they open it up again. B*stards.

Monday 17 November 2008

Touch wood times twenty

Well blow me down if people aren't now tripping over themselves in their eagerness to pay me. The invoice for my current place isn't due until 11 Dec and they paid me today! As one would say... kerching. Please please please please let this continue.

Good job too as I had a small disaster at the end of last week when my laptop decided to break. On Thursday evening in the office it was working fine. Got home, plugged it in (what a sad geekette I am) and... nothing. No wireless drivers. Couldn't connect to anything. The next day, it had self-deleted all the audio drivers too, and wouldn't even recognise Word docs I'd created about 20 minutes previously, which had me tearing my hair our somewhat. Ended up borrowing a MacBook from one of the studio guys who looked at me a little nervously and asked me not to make it blow up.

Saturday was an expensive day. But I'm now an official convert to Macs and am writing this on my lovely new MacBook, while transferring and backing up all files from the old (in disgrace) laptop. And I can claim it back on my tax.

Next batch of invoices due in this weekend too.

Cinderella WILL be going to the ball this Christmas. Yay!

Thursday 13 November 2008

Life's a pitch

Pitch craziness is taking over the agency I’m currently at. They have a biggie tomorrow. If they win it, they’ll be able to move offices into town and hire more staff. It will make a huge difference to them - and a transition from start-up to an agency proper. I really wish them well, they’re a nice bunch of people who all know what they’re doing. Would imagine most of them will be working through the night.

Extra art workers were drafted in to get everything ready for the pitch, as a result I’ve been ousted from the ‘creative department’ (ie the 2-person office with 6 people in it) to make room for them, and am working next door in the ‘accounts management department’ (ie the 6-person office with 6 people in it).

Met the client yesterday to discuss the project I’m involved in. They are still changing their minds daily about offers, and which variable data fields can and can’t be included. Which means I’m constantly rewriting drafts, then rewriting them again when they change their minds once more. It’s somewhat frustrating, but also extremely lucrative. In fact, the money they’re paying should see me nicely up to Christmas and a bit beyond. So I am NOT complaining. Nope. Nada. Niet.

Wednesday 12 November 2008

Mobile shops

It’s weird how a chain reaction of things can take you somewhere new. The other day, Orange called me to check they had the right address for me as mail had recently been returned to them. It was missing the first line of the address. Easy peasy.

But this then made me think about my mobile phone contract. It’s not something I think about ever really. I don’t receive paper bills and just keep a vague eye on what goes out of my bank account every month.

When I checked my online statement, I found out I was being charged for every text I send. Not a lot – 8.5p per text. But I send quite a lot of texts. And I’d just assumed I was getting them for free. ‘Cos everyone gets free texts and minutes, right?*

After sorting that out, I was also offered a free phone upgrade. Rather than order over the phone, then miss the delivery man or have to take time off work to be in, I thought “Hmmm, wonder if they have a physical shop anywhere near.” Googled it, and found an Orange shop about a 10 minute walk away.

When I was walking there at lunchtime today, I was amazed to discover that not only does Richmond have an Orange shop. It also has an O2 shop. And a Vodafone shop. And a Phones 4 U shop. And a 3 shop. And two Carphone Warehouse shops... All of them stuffed to the rafters with mobile phones. I’ve either been walking around with my eyes closed for the past few years or mobile phone shops really aren’t on my radar.

Anyhow, very helpful chap in the Orange shop looked up my account, laughed when he saw what tariff I was on (until I explained I’d already changed it) then gave me my selected shiny new phone** for free.

There is something immensely satisfying about walking out of a shop, happily swinging a bag full of shiny new kit that you haven’t paid a penny for.

Thank you Orange. Even if I don't like your current advertising.

* Wrong. But I do now.
** Sony Ericsson C902 with 5meg camera. Him Next Door will have phone envy now.

All things Obama #1

Good example below of an agency (and client) seizing a one-off opportunity. My first reaction was 'Ooooh cheesy." But then I read the copy and realised they'd actually tied it in pretty well. Not sure when this actually went live, as it takes a few days for ads to show up on Ads of the World, but if it was the day after the election, that would have been perfect.



If you can't read the copy, you'll find a bigger version here.

(Agency: Weber Shandwick Chicago & TBWA\Chiat\Day, Los Angeles)

Creative accounting

Spent last night threading together receipts/train tickets and the like to try and sort out the tax situation from last year's big freelance job. This was done in partnership with an Art Director and Planner (AKA Him Next Door). It was also while I was still working for my last agency, so it involved lots of cloaks and daggers and out of hours work. Luckily, we had a brilliant client who was really flexible about us working evenings and weekends only - she knew this would be the case from the off.

We ended up doing some really nice work for her (the original brief was to redesign their logo, it ended up being almost a year-long project to rebrand and reposition the charity). The three of us all enjoyed working together. And the client got a bill half the size of one quoted by an established agency. I think one of the best things was the client telling us how happy she was she'd chosen to go with us as opposed to an agency, and how proud she was of the work. Job was a good 'un.

Anyway, it was a large chunk of cash for us and needed declaring. So we formed a partnership which we now need to disolve... and we also spent last night finding ways to bring down our collective tax liability. The good news is it will probably be a lot less than we originally thought, and could come down further still.

Right, time to get down the back of the sofa see if I can find any more old receipts.

Tuesday 11 November 2008

WTF...?

New Toshiba TV ad. No idea how they did it, but it looks cool. (Agency: Grey).

Monday 10 November 2008

It's a fine line

As a freelancer there are certain types of behaviour both expected and not expected of you. For example, you’re not expected to work beyond, say, 6pm.

Many freelancers just WON’T on principle, especially if they are charging by the day. Others don’t mind, but will charge by the hour. I just apply the same attitude to this as I would with an agency job; if there’s work that needs doing, I’m happy to stay and do it, but I’m not going to sit at my desk and pretend to be busy if I’m not. If I have nothing to do, I’ll be out the door at 5.31pm, and thanks very much.

Some of my current colleagues were discussing a new Account Manager who is freelancing for them. “The trouble is, she just has the whiff of a freelancer. You can tell she’s just going through the motions.” Ouch. Like I said, it’s a fine line.

Friday 7 November 2008

Wow

The lurgy has gone! Had 3 x early nights as described below, and woke up yesterday feeling fine and dandy. Indeed I as much as sprang out of bed, which is most out of character.

Anyway, I had a phonecall from the ever-helpful 'A' this morning. She'd lost a timesheet I'd left on her desk back in September, and was most apologetic. She asked if there was any chance I could remember what I'd been working on that week. Chances are that unless I'm working on a big on-going project (like now) then I'll find it hard to remember what I was working on the day before yesterday.

Then I had a brainwave (it happens sometimes). I didn't use the company email system at that agency (some places add you temporarily like the place I'm at now, others don't) so all the documents I'd sent were stored. Which meant I could go back through and find a record of everything I'd done. I wrote it all down in an email and sent it over to her. She replied saying my cheque would be signed and in the post either today or monday. Which is exactly when it was due.

She's ACE. She is without doubt the most efficient and helpful accounts person I have EVER dealt with. Which is exactly what I emailed back to her.

There is another cheque in the post!

Wednesday 5 November 2008

One of the downsides of freelancing...

...is when you feel absolutely shite, your nose is running, you're varying between being so hot you're sweating and so cold you can't stop shivering... and you then you remember you don't get sick pay. I'm also just a week into this new gig and don't want to mess it up so have been dosing on lemsip/paracetamol/cough medicine to get me through the day, then trudging home, stuffing some food down my throat, drinking a Power Toddy* followed by a couple of Nytols then going to bed. Seems to be just about keeping me going so far.

Project is ticking along nicely in the meantime, not the world's most interesting topic but involves quite technical writing. I don't mean writing about technology, but the way in which the project fits together. There are lots of letters and emails which include lots of variable paragraphs that have to work independently yet also fit together in any number of combinations, while also not only making sense but reading nicely. Tricky.

And in the meantime, Obama is in. There is hope yet.

*Power Toddy:
1 x Lemsip
2 x teaspoons honey
1 x good slug of whisky

Wednesday 29 October 2008

New beginnings

First day at the new place was good fun. It's busy, ramshackle and seems to have a lot of energy. This is probably a Good Thing seeing as it's a start up an' all. The office I was working in was built for 2 people to share, so I soon got cosy with the 5 other people working in there with me. They'd had to rearrange the furniture the evening before to make space for me... resulting in my very own, very... um... small desk in the corner. Think of it as a Fisher Price 'my first desk' and you'll get the picture. I was reliably (and rather proudly) informed that it was held together with 'one screw and lots of blue tak, so you might want to be a bit careful with it'.

It's fine though, enough room for my laptop (which they also asked me to bring as they don't have any spare) and my usual pile of papers. And a mug of tea. So all good.

It's quite a complicated project and confidential, but needless to say it should keep yours truly off the streets and out of trouble for the next three to four weeks.

Was the cheque in the post?

Opened the door last night... would there be a...? There was! A crisp white envelope on the doormat with a very welcome word showing through the address window.

"Remittance."

My new favourite word in all the land, in fact.

This bodes well. It's the first payment from the second agency I've freelanced at, and it's bang on time (apart from being 1 day late). If they keep this up, it means a relatively steady stream of income for the next 4 - 6 weeks.

Me likey.

Monday 27 October 2008

Just the one day off then

Phoned new agency to let them know my booking with the old agency had been cancelled, so they moved my booking with them forward to tomorrow. Cool!

Called old agency to chase invoice only to find the lovely 'A' (the person I deal with in accounts) had already chased it for me and had posted it this morning.

The cheque is in the post! Woohoo!

A few days off

Currently enjoying a rare few days off which I'm quite looking forward to, then I have agreed to a four week stint at a new agency (new in the sense that I haven't worked for them before, and also new as it they have only recently started up).

The creative side is run by an old friend who I've never actually worked with, but I used to work with his wife years ago. I've also known lots of people who have worked with him and who rate him highly. It's actually the 4th time he's asked me to work for him but I've had to turn him down on before on account of previous engagements. And I've been wanting to work with them for sometime, so it's all good.

The less good bit is that this seems to have put the nose of the agency I've been with for the past few weeks, out of joint. They only had me booked for one day this week which I was totally prepared to honour, but then cancelled this once I let them know I wouldn't be available past Thursday. Ah well, one day versus four weeks' work. It's a bit of a no-brainer.

Right, time to start chasing the next loads of invoices. Let's see how it goes...

Wednesday 22 October 2008

The kindness of strangers

I was walking back through Richmond just now on my way back to the agency from Waterstone's. The sun was shining, Joni Mitchell was playing on my iPOD and I was in a world of my own (my usual state when walking).

I happened to look up at one point and there was a huddle of worried-looking people at a road junction. A scooter was on its side. And a man was lying on the ground in the middle of the junction. The top half of his torso and his head were hidden in a swaddle of people's coats. He wasn't moving.

I wondered if there was anything I could do to help, but there were already 4 or 5 people by his side, I automatically assumed one of them would have called 999. I have no medical training. And if there's one thing I hate, it's people who just hang around and gawp at accidents. Like vultures.

So I walked on, but it upset me. Although it made me think that most of us have at least some element of basic human kindness within us. I daresay the people who were helping him didn't know him, but they stopped. They covered him with their coats to keep him warm, and waited with him until the paramedic arrived (who pulled up just after I passed). I don't know him either but I hope he is OK.

For some reason I keep getting a picture in my head of how shiny his shoes were.

Tuesday 21 October 2008

It's good to share

I'm currently waiting for a brief so was having a mooch around the Internet, poking about in dark corners on advertising blogs and peering into the abyss of agency sites. And I've found something good. It's a series of articles on the DDB website which are intelligent, insightful, and free.

Go to their homepage, click on 'The Hot Download' and enjoy.

I particularly enjoyed the 'Swarm Marketing' one until I looked into the top left corner of the PDF and saw it spelt as "Swaem Marketing'. Details people, details. Sorry, there is a pedant inside me that screams to be let out when it comes to spelling.

Put down your pen and listen

I never tire of Bill Bernbach quotes.

They make sense.

Take the example below. It demonstrates a perfect understanding of what copywriting is about. It is also, as with all BB quotes, elegantly expressed.

"It’s an insight into human nature that is the key to the communicator’s skill. For whereas the writer is concerned with what he puts into his writing, the communicator is concerned with what the reader gets out of it. He therefore becomes a student of how people read or listen."

It's not science. It's not poetry. It's not journalism. It's not 'creative writing' in the sense of novels and the like. It's about understanding the leap between what's written on the page and how it connects with the person reading it. And whether or not this can create an emotion or an action (or if you're lucky, both).*

* There are many other factors involved such as time and place too. HND has a theory about this which involves Schrödinger's cat but more about that another time.

Monday 20 October 2008

2 out of 3 ain't bad and it's all you're getting

In this business, and especially at times like this (recession! doom! gloom!), clients tend to demand three things from an agency.

Work that is...

Good.
Cheap.
And turned around quickly.

The trouble is, it just doesn't work like that.

If it's good and delivered quickly, chances are it won't be cheap.
If it's cheap and quick, chances are it won't be any good.
And if it's good and also cheap, it probably took some time.

But of course, that doesn't stop them from asking.

Once in a blue moon

It takes a lot to warm my cynical tired old heart, but this does.

Sunday 19 October 2008

It's all in the context

I listened to an interesting radio programme* this morning which talked about 'The Wizard of Oz' in relation to the Great Depression. In this context, the 'yellow brick road' refers to the gold standard that the US politicians at the time insisted on sticking to while Roosevelt (I think, bear with me I was a bit snoozy) was trying to flood the market with the silver dollar, to loosen up finances across the country... Much the same way as Brown has just bailed out the UK's banks with £37 billion.

The scarecrow refers to the US agricultural market (no brain), the tin man represents the bankers of the east coast (no heart) and the lion is the US senate (no courage). Dorothy stands for the typical US man or woman. It gets a bit misty where the Wicked Witch of the West kicks in, but it was completely different view on things. Although when you think about it, the film came out in 1939 (around the end of the depression), but was actually written in 1900, way before the depression. So maybe it's all a load of codswallop.

* God bless radio 4.

Thursday 16 October 2008

Speech marks

I had an interesting discussion last night about the similarities between copywriting and political speech writing. In both cases, you are trying to persuade people to do something – vote with your wallet in the former case, and with your heart and mind in the latter.

So what’s the ultimate copywriter’s gig?

As the late and great Bill Bernbach once said, "Good advertising builds sales. Great advertising builds factories."

But how about motivating a whole nation of people? Remember Churchill’s ‘We will fight them on the beaches*' rallying call? It’s one of the defining speeches of WWII and had a profound effect on an entire population. Think about ‘I have a dream’ by Martin Luther King – and the impact this had (and continues to have) on more than one generation.

It also made me wonder who is writing today’s political speeches... Those of Brown et al in this country (none of which are particularly memorable, save for his recent ‘This is no time for a novice’ which seems to have bought him more time), but particularly those of Obama and McCain in the states. As the US goes to the polls, who is actually putting the words of these two candidates into their mouths?

* Everyone quotes it as this. It’s actually ‘We shall fight on the beaches,’ text below. (Note the use of repetition to really drill the message home.)

“We shall go on to the end,
We shall fight in France, 

We shall fight on the seas and oceans, 

We shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air,
We shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be,

We shall fight on the beaches, 

We shall fight on the landing grounds, 

We shall fight in the fields and in the streets, 

We shall fight in the hills; 

We shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old."

Wednesday 15 October 2008

Left-field poetry

Now I"m not really one for poetry normally. I'm not really sure why... but a lot of it seems forced, or meaningless or just pretty words strung together for no reason, kind of like an aural necklace. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it just ain't my bag.

However, this I love. It has really struck a chord with me for some reason (thanks to HND's Mum who sent it to him). I loved it as soon as I heard it.

I am the family face;
Flesh perishes, I live on,
Projecting trait and trace
Through time to times anon,
And leaping from place to place
Over oblivion.

The years-heired feature that can
In curve and voice and eye
Despise the human span
Of durance - that is I;
The eternal thing in man,
That heeds no call to die.


- Thomas Hardy

Accountability

Had a meeting with my new accountant last night to sort out my tax*. He is a friend of Him-Next-Door (HND) and is both cheerful and seemingly brilliant at helping us avoid paying any more tax than we need to.

*It was in HND's living room, rather late, and involved gin**. Lots of gin.

**If gin is involved in a meeting with one's accountant, does this mean it is a tax-deductible beverage?

What do you call it when...

...you get words that are essentially a number of small words that have become one long single word?

Like 'thereafter' (which someone actually used on the phone to me this morning, which is what got me thinking).

Or 'nonetheless'.

Or 'nowadays'.

Or my personal favourite... 'ne'erdowell'. (I know a few of those).

Tuesday 14 October 2008

Ker-ching!

I have money! I am solvent again! I even have some left over from the black hole of my overdraft! This makes me feel like a proper person again, instead of a penniless, cowering waif.

Cinderella will go to the supermarket this week.

Monday 13 October 2008

For the love of God...

And so the saga continues. Still no sign of any money. Made the usual phone call to the usual nice girl (she must be sick of me by now) who promised to investigate, as her boss handles that side of it not her. The lady in question did actually phone me back just now to apologise profusely (again), thank me for my patience (again) and assure me that she had put it through today to definitely clear tomorrow.

Bets on the table please... hands up who thinks it'll happen?

Friday 10 October 2008

Through gritted teeth

Still no money coming in from anywhere. To be fair they did say the BACs transfer would take 3 working days which means Monday. Fingers crossed.

Ah well, this week has involved recording a radio ad, rewriting TV ads and also a set of 10 press ads. Interesting stuff. The CD here has started making noises about long term plans and the like, which I am trying to avoid answering. I don't do long term plans. My brain doesn't seem to work that way so I just tend to go-with-the-flow/lurch-from-thing-to-thing (delete as appropriate) but it's never seemed to do me too much harm. I'm enjoying freelancing and don't want to commit to a permanent job at the mo.

We compromised with a short-term plan of me coming back next week. Then I even attempted a medium-term plan for the next six months (which depends if a top secret project comes off) but that ended up being rather waffly and then ... that's where I stopped.

Of course, the other factor is that freelancing day rates pay more than a salaried job would.

Well, in theory.

Sigh.

Thursday 9 October 2008

Finishing well

The best career advice I have EVER been given was very simple, and very succinct.

'Finish well.'

It was from this man. It basically means paying the same care and attention to your job once you've handed in your notice, decided to count beans elsewhere etc. as you would anyway (well, assuming that you give a shit in the first place). Those two small words have served me very well. In this industry, everyone knows everyone through someone else, once you've been around the block once or twice. And personal recommendations carry more weight than you'd think.

I was reminded about it this week on two counts. Firstly, a creative team left the place I'm freelancing at. Their attitude was not one of finishing well, and on their penultimate day, I overheard the CD giving them an absolute roasting for it. He will never hire them again, and neither will anyone else who asks him about them.

Secondly, all the freelance work I've had so far has been through personal contacts and people I've worked with previously. I've heard NOTHING from any of the agencies I signed up with.

Those two small words are currently paying my rent.

Wednesday 8 October 2008

Aha

The nice girl at the agency called me back to apologise profusely, and took my bank details to transfer the money today - both for the existing invoice and my second one which isn't even overdue yet. This has restored my faith in human nature (or at least in finance departments). She also took the trouble to call me back twice as I was in a recording studio with my phone turned off when she left the first message, which I particularly appreciated.

So while there is no cheque in the post, there are spondoolicks heading towards my bank account. Hurrah!

Guess what?

No cheques in the post. Spoke to the agency again this morning and there appears to be a question mark over my hours, also known as an 'internal issue'. Very nice girl I spoke to was most apologetic and said she would try and chase the CD to resolve it. The CD is also known as my mate Reubs, so sent him an email too. It's a bit awkward when friends and finances become intertwined but quite frankly I'm too skint to be proud.

Slightly awkward job I'm currently working on too. Rewriting TV scripts that have already aired, but are being re-edited and spliced with new footage. Trouble is, I'm trying to write the voiceover without knowing which shots will be used, and without a storyboard. Also have to present everything twice... to the CD (who likes some versions but not others) and the MD, who is closely involved with the client. He tends to like the versions rejected by the CD and vice versa. It's a bit like trying to hit a moving target with a blindfold on. Wish me luck.

Tuesday 7 October 2008

A face for radio

Exciting news. The radio ad I wrote the other week is being recorded tomorrow. Even better, I get to go along, which I wasn't expecting being a mere freelancer an' all. But no, the agency are paying me to go and make sure I'm happy with it. Which is great. What's also cool is that one of the voiceover artists is someone very funny who I'm looking forward to meeting very much (he's off the telly and everything).

Have also promised Him-Next-Door (henceforth known as HND) 6 x radio scripts by Christmas for a side project we're working on (around 5 mins each). Must get arse into gear...

Just in case you were wondering...

.... there was no cheque in the post this morning. Mind you, I leave before the postman arrives so fingers crossed for tonight.

My next door neighbour, friend and ex-colleague (how many different ways can you know someone?) has started a blog. It promises to be rather good too, as he is sharp of wit and broad of brain. There is a link in my blog list on the right or you can simply click here and introduce yourself.

Monday 6 October 2008

Hmmm

Chased agency for payment again this morning. Spoke to third person who couldn't find me on the system, then found me on the system but had no record of my invoices, then found my invoices 'which were put on her desk on Friday' then said she would process them and get a cheque out to me today.

So apparently a cheque IS in the post.

I feel rather dubious but remain hopeful.

Friday 3 October 2008

Friday but not payday

Called the agency in Waterloo on Monday about my now overdue invoice, was cheerfully told it was in the system and would be part of a payroll this week. There is still no sign of it in my bank account, so I called them again today, spoke to someone else who said there was no trace of me in their system and had I filled out a new supplier form...?

This does not fill me with confidence. Agreed to call back on Monday to speak to someone else.

No cheques in the post this weekend.

Tuesday 30 September 2008

Autumn beckons

No work on Friday or Monday, (I'm quite liking this 4 day week business) but spent the time productively on a variety of tasks instead. Time spent over the weekend mostly unproductive but good fun, involving a dog show which was a bit random, and a couple of really aesthetically pleasing cycle rides along the river in the last of the summer sunshine - definitely autumn today. And also had some lovely news from friends in Cambridge.

Back in the agency in Richmond today - I was originally booked Weds-Fri but picked up a voicemail from the CD at 10pm last night... good job I checked, after watching 'Ghostbusters'*. The radio ads I did last week were aimed at slightly the wrong audience, which isn't something I wouldn't necessarily have known, as it wasn't in the brief. The client apparently still liked both of them but has thrown one out so wants a new alternative. Only trouble being they want them to be 'funny' while also jamming in about 3 other messages and a really long URL as the call to action (which takes up about 10 seconds of the 30 second ad by itself). Not really feeling very 'funny' today either, have sore finger, neck is creaky and had to cycle to work in the rain. Bah. Hope funny bone grows back this afternoon.

No cheques in the post. Chased first agency yesterday. Invoice now officially 30 days old.

* If you haven't seen Ghostbusters for about 20 years like me, I heartily recommend it.

Wednesday 24 September 2008

Tuning into radio

Finished my second stint at the agency in Waterloo. Had a random call from a headhunter (who had been given my name by another freelance writer, top lass who I worked with for 4 weeks about 2 years ago) about a possible long-term contract. It looks interesting... BUT it would mean joining the civil service (or snivel service to quote PK) and the money ain't that great.

Back in Richmond today, which I also like as I can cycle in instead of having to squish onto crowded sweaty trains. Everyone very welcoming and friendly too.

It was nice to see a job I worked on last week in its finished format with print samples already in, and it looked really good. I love it when a plan comes together. Seeing a job through from concept to completion is something that doesn't happen much when you're moving between difference places. See? I sound like an old pro already.

Briefed by 9.30 on some radio ads. I LOVE writing radio ads, in fact it's possibly my favourite media, so sunk my teeth into the brief happily. Have 5 ideas I'm happy with so far, with plenty more time this afternoon for more ideas and tinkering.

Still no cheques in the post.

Tuesday 23 September 2008

Busy busy...

No working on Friday - took the day off for a meet 'n' greet and discussions about a potential future project. Naturally, this took place over lunch and the afternoon was spent on the sunny terrace of the Riverside studios, a place very dear to my heart and somewhere I spent a LOT of time during the Pink Wine Summer of 2004.

Anyway, Monday was a return visit to a really nice agency in Waterloo which seems to have ethics amongst other things, which is indeed unusual in this murky industry. Interesting rebranding exercise and copy amends kept me cheerfully busy for the day. Back here again today for more of the same, then booked for the rest of the week in Richmond.

I've now been working pretty solidly for about 6 weeks which is great, but I have yet to be paid for anything. Indeed the finance department of the agency I'm at today emailed me a 'new supplier form' to complete before they could process my invoice (which I sent to them on the 1st of September), which is making me a little twitchy. While the coffers are not exactly empty they are in need of replenishment before the next rent day, which is in 3 weeks.

Thursday 18 September 2008

Agencies marketing themselves, part two.

Second post of the day and it's not even lunch yet, you can probably tell how busy I am although I have done some copy this morning, honest guv.

Anyway, after writing yesterday about how agencies are bad at creating their own campaigns, I've stumbled across a good one. Well, almost. The execution aimed at creatives works I think. As does the one for photographers. But the one aimed at suits isn't quite there with the messaging. In my humble opinion. But maybe that's because I'm a creative.

Temper, temper.

An argument erupted behind me during the afternoon which livened things up. Accusations of creatives not pulling their weight and delivering a project on time were hotly contested by said creatives, on account of the suits not providing the right information or deadline in the first place.

This is possibly one of the most traditional arguments between the two departments, and happens regularly (if it doesn't, there's probably something wrong with the agency). It was also probably occurring simultaneously in multiple agencies the world over. I'd forgotten how much this CD sticks up for his staff, he did on several occasions when I worked for him previously. It's a good thing. "Don't you come into my department throwing your toys around,' was verbally flung across the table at one point. End result? Start it again from scratch. Quickly. Creatives 0, Suits 0.

Wednesday 17 September 2008

Another day, another dollar.

A busier afternoon yesterday and this morning on some concepts for an 'in-house' job. Brainstorming included rubber ducks, bank notes and messages in bottles. In-house jobs (i.e. the agency marketing itself) are notoriously tricky and something most agencies are extremely bad at.

I'm not entirely sure why this is, seeing as this ability to communicate and persuade is what agencies pride themselves on (and the reason they exist). But it also got me thinking that it's actually very hard to sell yourself, be it via a CV or even an Internet dating site (say, for example... more on this another time).

Tuesday 16 September 2008

I get paid to do this?

I've asked for some work, I really have. However in the absence of any being forthcoming I thought I'd set up another blog. Not only does this give me the opportunity to spout forth my own opinions again, it also makes it look like I'm busy while I'm tapping away at the keyboard. Two birds, one stone etc.

So, in the seven weeks since being made redundant... I chilled for the first two, worked for the next two at a lovely place in Waterloo, went to see my sister in Tenerife, then worked here for last week (small agency in Richmond) and am booked for the next three days too. Touch wood the work keeps coming in. I've written about trains, people with arthritis, tourist attractions in Bath, and ex-service people who have lost limbs amongst other things, which has made a pleasant change from technology.

I've also approached two other local outfits (one of which I've had to turn down three times so far on account of being too busy) so we'll see.

In the meantime, I can cycle to and from work, the people are nice, there's free coffee and tea and I spent this morning surfing the Interweb for cottages to spend Christmas in. So I can't grumble really. And now it's time for lunch... Brucie bonus.